What Now?

We didn't sleep together that night or the next day. I left New Orleans and he stayed to spend a few days with her, their kids and some friends.

The next week we saw each other a few times, most significantly when he went with me to court on the day my restraining order was granted. On the drive home that afternoon I asked him if we were going to continue to let our feelings grow or if NOLA would stay in NOLA. He told me that it most certainly had to stay in NOLA. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I accepted his answer. I know my attitude changed, though, because he pulled over the car before my house and asked why I was so quiet. Why do you think I'm quiet? That was the first admission of the line we'd crossed. Guilt

That Friday night we were texting through a truly horrendous date I was on. He was out with friends and invited me to meet him. Once I ditched the date and got to the bar things started to heat up pretty quick. The atmosphere in the bar was loud and dark and the sexual tension between us was intense. I don't know what got into me, but when his friend got up to go to the bathroom I leaned in and whispered in his ear. I blush as I write this, but I think it was something along the lines of my legs being wrapped around his neck. 'o'

"Check, please!"

We left separately but arrived at my house within seconds of each other. I honestly don't know how we made it through the front door. Clothes and limbs were flying and we fell onto the bed in a sweaty mess. Carnal is the only word that comes to mind. The sex was almost violent and it was over before I even knew what hit me. (He would kill me if he knew I wrote that...)
I didn't know what to do in the aftermath and squirmed between kneeling, sitting and lying next to him on the bed. Finally he grabbed my hand and pulled me down to him. We lay there for what seemed like hours, my head on his chest listening as hit heartbeat returned to normal.  When I woke up he was gone and I had a raging hangover. My head was spinning from the alcohol but more so from the events that kept running through my mind. What now?